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Advice For First Dates
The simple pleasure of getting to know another human being when your out on your
first date can diminish under the weight of unrealistic expectations and the
baggage of previous relationships, if you let it. Here's some advice on how to
make your first date a successful one and things you should be looking for in
your new gal or guy.
Having a shared sense of humor is very important.
Try to bring laughter to the date. Try to get a laugh out of the guy/gal. That
way you know you've got something. If he doesn't relate to your sense of humor,
he's not going to relate in other things.
Always stay true to who you
are. People sometimes try too hard to impress and don't be themselves. If they
just relax a little, the date will go better and they will not have to worry
about any misconceptions later on in the relationship, providing there is a
later on in the relationship. Don't lie or have too much to drink on your first
date. These are disasters waiting to happen.
If you are meeting someone
entirely new, like someone you know only through a personal ad or an online
dating service be sure to go to a place with plenty of other people around. Do
not do all the talking either, listen and try to find out more about the new
person in your life. Keep the conversation general, talk about light subjects
like music, movies, or books. Don't engage in conversation about deep subjects
like religion, politics, or tragedys. Keep it light.
There is a
difference between first dates and the first face-to-face contact with someone
you connect with through a dating service or ad. That is a meeting to size up
each other, not a date. Make it short. If you are comfortable and seem to be
compatible set up a date to spend more time together at another time.
Remember that the first date is supposed to be fun. You are getting to
know this person and he is getting to know you. It should not be something that
feels like a meeting with your enemy. Look for someplace fun to go and make
sure it allows you to interact. It will help if the activity relates to a shared
interest, such as art or music. Doing something you enjoy takes the pressure
off. Have a specific plan. Do not leave things up to chance. Flexibility is
nice but it reduces anxiety to know what to expect in terms of activity and how
to dress.
Have realistic expectations about a first date. Some people
start planning their wedding and others expect the worst. And if it is a dud do
not make any promises you will not keep. Do not be encouraging if you feel no
interest in further socializing. Do be honest and say you feel there is not a
basis for anything other than friendship and let your date take it from there.
The Number One mistake people make on first dates is to judge the other
person too quickly and harshly. Always keep an open mind. There is so much to
discover about a person. Take your time and listen and try not to be too
judgmental on your first date. You must understand the person is probably
uncomfortable, too. Good Luck!
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