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Gay Dating Tactics
This article will offer some tips on gay dating tactics and how to approach your
first date with that lucky guy you've chosen to get to know. These ideas can
offer a means to ground yourself and make the most out of the experience without
sabotaging it before it gets off the ground. Pick and choose the dates that seem
right for you and create your own principles as a means of being a healthy dater
who lives with integrity and follows his own values. Dating can be a
nerve-wracking task, particularly with the absence of dating education available
to the gay men. You might wonder what traditions and roles that your
heterosexual counterparts have for dating are applicable for the gay man, if
any? What are the correct tactics for gay dating?
Every gay dating
experience is different, but the one common denominator that most gay daters
would testify to is that it can be difficult to navigate through the waters of
man-to-man dating. Although it's changing, gay men have few role models to
emulate when it comes to love and romance. There's no template to follow and
most men were never taught how to flirt with and date other men. There are no
rules, no structure, and no guidance to follow. How do two men join together in
the dating scene? While a lack of rules for gay dating can be a positive thing,
lending to more creativity, spontaneity, and individuality, it can also create
anxiety and a sense of "cluelessness" in how to meet and date successfully.
When setting a time and place for your date, be sure to make it a short
meeting (only 1-2 hours) for the first time and select a place that is either
activity oriented or allows for lots of opportunity for conversation. Avoid
movies, instead opt for a short get together at a coffee shop or a walk through
the zoo. Making it brief takes a lot of the pressure off, especially if you find
the two of you aren't compatible, and allows for healthy pacing of your dating
relationship. You can always extend the date if you're getting along
well.
During the date be punctual and relaxed. No matter how attracted
you may be to the man sitting across from you, try to be yourself, avoid trying
to be someone you're not to try to impress your date. You are a great person
just as you are. Let him get to know the real you; otherwise, you're engaging in
a form of deception that will only come back to harm you later. Be your true
self and eventually you'll be rewarded with a truly compatible
partner.
Always be attentive to your date. Maintain good eye contact and
don't let your eyes stray if there are other attractive men in the room. Have
aconfident posture and let your nonverbal communication and body language convey
interest in learning about your date. Shut off any distracting thoughts; really
listen to what he's saying. Balance active listening with sharing things about
yourself. Ask open-ended questions to gain more elaboration on points made in
your discussion to lengthen conversations and learn more about your date. This
is especially effective if you're shy or are short on things to say because it
gets the other person talking more, allowing for more pieces of conversation
that you can begin other dialogues about. Be positive and let your sense of
humor show, don't be too serious.
It is important to have fun with gay
dating and take a light approach. Gay dating is both an art and a science.
Combining common sense decision-making with self-awareness of what one wants and
needs for a happy and fulfilling lifestyle. When your gay dating behavior is in
alignment with your values and vision for a relationship, you'll be living with
integrity and will be able to approach all your dates with a more relaxed tone
and confident demeanor. It will make the gay dating process much more easy-going
and rewarding.
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